So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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