I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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