They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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