Me too!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
