my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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