gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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