Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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