I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The best revenge is premature balding
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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