$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
