I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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