what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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