my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
