cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
