Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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