I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
