I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
