I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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