Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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