Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
