i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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