this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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