You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
