Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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