just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
