mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I don't think brook has ever known best
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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