I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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