I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
