I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
