Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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