I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Can Purell be used as lube?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
