My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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