i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
