Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
