Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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