I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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