handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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