Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
