the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I take back everything I said about communal showers
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
