If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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