I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
