Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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