I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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