Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
