I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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