Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
