Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
