with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
