You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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