I don't think brook has ever known best
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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