Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My life is pants optional.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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