dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
