Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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