I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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