Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
