Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
