dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
